


Werewolf Floaties

by casstayinmyass



Category: Music RPF, Rob Zombie (Musician)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Ginger Must Be Protected, Hot Tub, I Mean No Real Vampires, Idiots in Love, John's Goblin Spawn, Just Piggy, Kissing, Mutual Pining, Swimming Pools, Vampires, YAAAY 300TH FIC!!!, i love these boys so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 15:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21164216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstayinmyass/pseuds/casstayinmyass
Summary: After years of dancing around each other, both of you idiots wonder if the other is pining just as hard. Solution? Pool party. (Good thinking Ginger.)





	Werewolf Floaties

**Author's Note:**

> Probably inspired by this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukmsY-BOcz8

John strums an E minor on his guitar, staring up at his living room ceiling.

“I mean… does she think of me as a brother?”

Ginger shakes his head adamantly, shoving four doritos into his mouth. “No. Definitely not. No way, man.”

“The more you say it, the more it sounds like bullshit,” Piggy hisses. Ginger looks over to the bassist, genuinely bewildered.

“I’ve seen (y/n) look at John before… I don’t think that’s brotherly love. Or, y'know, maybe sorta like Game of Thrones, but– she could have just been looking over his shoulder at something…”

“You’re really cheering me up, here. Thanks guys.” John sighs.

“Not a problemo,” Ginger sets aside his empty chip bag. Piggy cuddles one of John’s cats. Rob comes sauntering out of the kitchen, shaking a green, slimy looking power shake.

“Who needs some fucking cheering up, man?!” he asks, bouncing himself onto the couch beside John.

“John thinks (y/n) doesn’t want his dick,” Piggy supplies. Rob gives John his Disappointed Father™ look.

“That’s not the only reason,” John clarifies, starting to play a melancholy riff on his guitar as he speaks. “I don’t think she’s interested in me, outside of being a friend.”

“Mm.” Rob hopes that sounded sympathetic.

“–It’s cause I’m so damn nice. If I told her I thought she was beautiful she’d just go, _"Awww! Jooohn!” _and move on.“

“Wow, you sounded just like her,” Ginger murmured. 

"Just let your inner asshole out, ladies love that,” Piggy suggests, “She asks for a drink or something? Tell her get it herself! Be the rock star that you are, man!”

“Ooh, refusing to get a woman a drink,” Rob says, “Look out, we’ve got a real badass over here.”

“Anyway Matt, if you did that, you’d probably cry all night and apologize,” John says, rolling his eyes at the bassist. Piggy looks down.

“Most likely.”

“Ask her out to a movie. Ask her out to Three From Hell, that’s a great date night movie,” Rob nods.

“That’s not even out yet,” John sighs.

“There’re two prequels. Just throwing that out there.”

“Pool party,” Ginger suddenly blurts.

“Not now,” John mutters.

“No, I think you should have a pool party, John. One, (y/n) would be in a… in a swimsuit that’ll probably look very very, uh, pleasing, and two– you could find out definitively if she likes you or not.”

Piggy starts to nod, pointing. “You may be onto something, Kenny.”

“I love pool parties,” Rob pitches in, “Not. Hot fuckin weather. Stupid looking swim trunks. Stupid little cocktails in stupid little pineapples.”

“A limitless poolside bar,” Piggy grins.

“Unicorn floaties!” Everyone looks over at Ginger. “Or… werewolf floaties?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Yep.”

“Totally.”

John begins to play the tune to ‘Everybody Hurts’ on his guitar, so Rob concedes. “Sheri and I’ll come. If only to show a little solidarity. I remember being back in the dating game.” He shakes his head. “Fucking glad I’m married, man.”

“I’m gonna pick up, like, four babes who are big into vampires,” Piggy says, “Keep a room open for me John, I’m gonna need it.”

“I’m not just inviting random girls,” John protests.

“Can I bring my rottweilers?” Ginger smiles.

“No, your psycho rottweilers tried to eat one of my cats last time,” John says.

“They’ll be tethered!”

“…Fine.”

—

The late summer heat beats down as your phone rings. You smile to yourself as you read the caller ID.

“John?”

“(y/n)! Hey! I’m having this… thing, like a… like a pool type thing… not the game pool, the… water.”

“Oh,” you say, “You’re having a pool party?”

“Yeah! That’s… yeah.”

You’re smiling like an idiot, thinking of the handsome blonde. “I’d love to come.”

“Cool! Yeah, um… it’s tomorrow. Everyone’s gonna be there.”

“Sounds good.”

“Alright.”

“Alright!”

You bite your lip, waiting to see if he’d say anything else.

“See ya tomorrow! I’ll be on the lookout for… boys!”

You drop the phone as it goes dead, sighing to yourself. You’re excited, but you wish John saw you as more than a little sister.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Rob immediately asks him. John looks around at all his band mates huddled around the phone.

“I’ll be on the lookout for boys?” Piggy frowns, “Great, man. Now she thinks you’re gay.”

“John and I experimented during our days on tour with Manson,” Ginger smiles proudly.

“To be fair, his touring environment would allow for it,” Rob mumbles.

“That’s not helpful Ginger, everybody does that,” Piggy whispers.

“I don’t!” Rob scoffs. John cuts into their little argument.

“HEY. I just meant I would be looking out for boys, like, protective wise! I’d be making sure none of them would… bother her?”

“Maybe that’s why she thinks of you as a big brother,” Ginger grimaces. John glares at everyone.

“What should I have said, "Hi, (y/n). Can’t wait to see your tits bounce in your bikini tomorrow?”“

"That would’ve worked,” Rob nods.

“Wouldn’t have been a lie, either,” Piggy elbows him.

“Maybe say boobs instead of tits though,” Ginger comments.

“Leave the flirting to me, and just help me get my pool ready,” John says, turning. Ginger is already in the kitchen. He plops two pineapples on the cutting board and picks up a butcher knife, grinning.

“Everyone back away from the crazy drummer with the knife,” Rob says.

You tie the bikini top behind you, and check yourself in the mirror. You look great, and you know John loves boobs. If he didn’t notice you (and your boobs) today, he never would.

“Hey,” you smile at the mirror. “Hey, John!” you try again. “Hey, baby,” you say sultrily, then groan in frustration. Faced with him opening the door for you, all you’ll be able to do is abrasively grunt anyway.

Exiting your beachside apartment, you hop into your convertible, toss on some Sabbath from your Bluetooth, and start off toward the Lowrey mansion.

John looks at himself in the mirror. “She likes you,” he pep talks himself. “If she didn’t like you, she wouldn’t talk to you. Simple as that. She wouldn’t even be coming to this party if she hated you!” He frowns. “Why would she hate you?” That was a bad question to ask himself. As a billion possible answers to that flooded his brain, he heard a very loud, very vicious barking from downstairs, and the hybrid of a scream and a hiss from one of his cats.

“Ginger’s dogs must be here,” John smiles tightly.

Downstairs, Piggy is gelling and combing his hair for the tenth time, and watching the mirror.

“Ging! Fangs, or no fangs?” he asks, trying on the prosthetics. One of John’s cats jumps onto Piggy’s shoulder.

“What?” Ginger asks, trying to corral his rottweilers as they gnaw on John’s couch.

“You’re right,” Piggy grins, “Always fangs.”

Outside, Rob and Sheri are chilling under an umbrella by the large pool. The hedges are all perfectly trimmed, and the backyard fountains look great. Music is already playing, and everyone is set to have a good time.

“Come in with me, sweetie,” Sheri pouts, stripping down to her purple bikini, “I’m sure the water’s just fine.”

“Go for it.”

“Come on!”

“I don’t do swimming,” Rob mutters, hiding behind his beanie and sunglasses. Sheri frowns.

“Stop being such a grump and come in.” Rob cautiously takes off his Svengoolie shirt, crossing his arms.

“My dreads take forever to dry.”

“That’s okay.”

“I’m too hot.”

“Your wet dreads will cool you off.”

“I’ll get sunburned.”

“I’ll protect you,” Sheri giggles, jumping on his back. Rob can’t help but laugh too as she kicks him forward to jump in.

You get out of your car at John’s. You see a bunch of cars already there, and take a deep breath. You’d been here a hundred times before, but it was different this time. This time you’d do something about your crush.

Now or never.

“A daiquiri, my lady?” Ginger asks you, surprising you with a banana cocktail right in front of your face.

“Don’t call her 'my lady’ Kenny, Jesus Christ,” Piggy hisses, “It’s creepy!"

“Hey! You’re creepy, you fanged asshole,” you shoot back, and Piggy grins, jogging over and fist bumping you. You give Ginger a big tight hug, and accept the drink graciously. Daiquiris might not be your drink of choice, but you’ll take anything right now to ease your nerves.

“So John’s upstairs getting ready,” Ginger tells you, slapping his thighs excitably, “Uhhh, probably talking to himself in the mirror and stuff, telling himself you–”

Piggy hits him. “Eh, you know how John is with his hair and stuff.” You raise an eyebrow at Piggy’s own overly-styled hair, but smile.

“Sure. I gotta get to the pool, man, I’m hot as fuck.”

“That you are,” Piggy grins, and you give him the finger.

“(y/n)!” Sheri shrieks, and gets out of the pool to run over.

“No, don’t leave me!” Rob calls. You strip down to your bathing suit, tossing your clothes, and hug Sheri.

“I feel like it’s been forever!” you say.

“I know! I’ve been so busy with Rob and Three From Hell, I haven’t had any time to see my friends."

"I'm so excited to see it, you have no idea."

"Thanks girl! I’m so glad you made it. I know John’s excited to have you here.”

“That’s an understatement,” Rob muttered, floating just above the surface like a lake monster. Sheri turns to him, her look saying 'I will drown you’. Rob takes the hint, and shuts up.

“Hey stranger,” you get into the pool, and swim over to Rob.

“Hey you,” Rob smirks, “How you been?”

“Keeping busy.” You grab a Mummy floatie, “How was the tour?”

“Oh, it rocked. Yeah, no rifts with Manson this time, which was nice.”

As you three chat in the pool, John comes downstairs in his Frankenstein swim trunks. He takes his T-shirt off, and Piggy pretends to faint into Ginger’s arms. Ginger, bless his heart, actually thinks he’s fainted.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yes, just…”

“Oh god. She’s in the pool,” John says, and Ginger frowns.

“Yeah. Is that an issue, man?” Piggy stifles laughter. John ducks his head in laughter.

“No, Kenny. I’m just… flustered. A little.”

“Hey. Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Ginger slaps a hand on his shoulder, a little too hard. “Man, I spent your player years on tour as your wingman. I know you’ve got the moves.”

“Care to describe these moves, Kenny?” Piggy asks.

“Oh, well he’s got this thing that he does where he looks at you with those eyes and just–”

“I love you both but I’m leaving. Bye,” John smirks, pushes through them, and walks toward the pool. He clears his throat, and tries to come off casual.

“Hey, (y/n).”

You look up, regarding John. He looks amazing– shoulder length blonde hair swept by the wind, beard trimmed, sexy eyes squinting in the sun. All the gorgeous tattoos on his chest are such a turn on, too. He’s been your friend for ages, and though you’ve always harbored a crush, you never remember him being this hot. You try to remember words.

“John! Hey, come on in.”

“Yeah! Totally. Good idea.” John gets in, and Sheri shoots Rob a look. Rob shrugs.

“I’m in now, I’m not getting out.”

Sheri intensifies her look. Rob glances down at a non existent watch.

“Ohh, look at the time, I think it’s–”

“Vegan lemon drops o'clock!” Sheri giggles, and Rob closes his mouth.

“Uh, sure. That, mmm, that actually sounds good. Woah!” She yanks him out of the pool, and the two head over to the bar in search of more cocktails. This leaves you and John alone.

“God damn, this freezing pool is making my balls shrivel up,” John mentions, and you laugh.

“Fortunately, I don’t have that problem.”

“Nah, you’ve just got…” John glances down at where your nipples are starting to peak, and you see him bite his lip ever so slightly before looking away. Bingo.

“You like my bathing suit? It’s new,” you tell him.

“Very becoming of you,” he nods. “Really, I love it.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Yeah?” He swims a little closer to you. “I’m actually hating this water. Wanna check out the hot tub? I’ve got it at a real nice setting.”

“Let’s do it,” you say, and take his hand, swimming to the shallow end with him. John takes a deep breath as you get out of the pool in front of him, watching as the water drips from the swimsuit clinging to your body. You turn, and walk with him to the hot tub surrounded by fountains.

“Look at them,” Piggy says, “They’re finally cozying up!”

“Leave them alone,” Rob mutters, “They need to put up a curtain or something.”

“Hey, we like (y/n), we want John to get with her so she can come on tour with us,” Ginger points out.

“So. This is so strange for me to be in here without a guitar,” John laughs, putting his arm around you. Your eyes widen a little, and you freeze. Is he doing that to be friendly?

“You play guitar in the hot tub?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s a good way to get electrocuted, but it’s also a good spot to practice. And hey, if you’re not risking electrocution while playing, are you really metal?”

You grin. “When aren’t you playing guitar?”

“When I’m talking to you,” John admits, turning fully toward you. “You require my full attention. (y/n), there’s something I gotta tell you.”

“Yeah?” You bite your lip.

Just then, the patio door opens.

“I am fashionably late but HERE!” 

Everyone turns to find Manson standing there in a black speedo with a long black robe over him. All at once, John regrets inviting him.

“Awww, look at you two!” Marilyn calls over to the hot tub, “Kissy kissy kissy sex time! Hey (y/n)!” You wave to him.

“Manson? Get over here,” Rob practically drags the new guest over to the bar, knowing that is where he can best keep him distracted.

John turns back to you.

“Well. That was–”

“Before you tell me what you were going to tell me. Do you think of me as a sister?”

You blurt out the question, dying to definitively know the answer so you could stop second guessing yourself.

“A sister?” John laughs a little. “I think of you as my best friend!”

Your face falls, and you feel like such an idiot for falling into this whole thing head over heels. Of course he doesn’t like you like that. You’re just reading too far into it, as usual.

“–a best friend who I wish was more than a best friend.” You hesitate, and look up at him as he second guesses himself. “D…Do you think of me as a brother?”

“N-No!”

He sighs. “(y/n), I’ve felt this way for years, but it never seemed like the right time to tell you. I think you’re really cute. And, sexy. Really sexy. Like… I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“I…” you shake your head, “John, I…”

He swallows. “Okay, now you’re making me nervous. Thumbs up, or down?” He gives a shaky laugh.

You straddle him underwater, sitting on his lap and cupping his cheeks.

“John Lowery. I’ve wanted to be your monster girl since the day you asked me what my favourite Karloff movie was.” He smiles. “Be the Lily to my Hermann?”

“If you’ll be the Gomez to my Morticia.”

You press your lips to his again, and as he wraps one arm around you, he uses the other to pull a success fist.

Hollering erupts from the bar, and you two turn to see everyone clapping, pumping their fists, and celebrating.

“Wooooh, John and (y/n) are finally gonna fuck, cocaine for everyone!” Marilyn calls.

“Manson, no.”

“But Robert!”

“No.”

You and John giggle, turning to each other again in your own little world. John plays with your hair, looking down to admire how you look in your swimsuit.

“I think you’re perfect. Like… Paul Stanley’s guitar perfect.”

You draw back, putting a playfully shocked hand on your chest. “To receive a compliment like that… overwhelming!”

He swims over to catch you again, and kisses your cheek, chasing you as you dip underwater.

“Ah! Help, lifeguard!” you shout, laughing, and oh no– here comes Ginger to save the day.


End file.
